10. How To Speak So People Listen
Have you ever wondered why your employee didn’t do what you asked them, even though you gave them clear instructions? Last week, we talked about how to delegate and who to delegate to. But what do you do when you’re delegating, and the other person just isn’t getting it?
Clear communication is a topic near and dear to my heart. We naturally communicate with others in the way that we like to be spoken to. However, each individual on your team needs to be communicated with a little differently, so it’s time to try some new things so you can communicate as clearly as possible.
Tune in this week to start experimenting with some different styles of communication, so you can see which ones resonate most with you and the people on your team. I’m sharing the importance of being aware of and mirroring other people’s communication styles, and how to collaborate with your team members to explore and come up with the most effective methods of communication. In other words, speak so people listen!
Until January 30th, you can book a one-time 90-minute deep dive with me to uncover what makes you unique as a leader, and give you a personalized roadmap tailored to your strengths and needs, so you can fully focus on your leadership goals. Click here for all the details!
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
The importance of being aware not just of the words that you’re using, but also your non-verbal communication, such as tonality and body language.
Why individual people have varying reactions to different styles of communication.
The different types of communicators you’ll come across as a leader and how to identify each of them.
Some specific things to avoid when in conversation with each individual communication style.
Why it’s always okay to ask people how they prefer to be communicated with.
How to best drive your point home with someone who is naturally blunt or unpretentious, in contrast with someone who is more curious, practical, or sensitive.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
Book a one-time 90-minute deep dive with me to uncover what makes you unique as a leader.
To thank you for being a listener and supporter of The Confident Female Leader, I am sharing a free guided meditation with you! Download your meditation here.
9. How to Delegate (When It Feels Like It’s Faster to Do It Yourself)
Full Episode Transcript:
Have you ever wondered why your employee didn't do what you asked them even though your instructions were so clear and what you can do about it?
Welcome to The Confident Female Leader podcast. A space for ambitious women stepping into leadership, who are ready to take control of their circumstances and own their magic. If you're ready to start shedding your self-doubt, come into your new identity as a leader, and stop consistently undervaluing yourself so you can feel more confident in your role, this show’s for you.
I'm Annie Framand; Psychologist, Certified Feminist Coach and Master Trainer. And I'm on a mission to help women just like you stop overworking, overthinking, and overpleasing, so you can start creating success on your terms. Ready to create your dream life? Let's go.
Hola amigas, how are you? I'm doing amazing. These past couple of weeks, I've had friends visit in Puerto Vallarta, and I've been having a blast, not going to lie. We did a hike, we went whale watching, and we went to the beach. It was just so fun enjoying the winter here.
Actually, sidenote, I'm from Montreal, Canada, where right now it's about maybe -30 degrees Celsius, and there's lots of snow. It's just so funny to me because it's my second winter here in Mexico, and I'm now freezing when it's 20 degrees Celsius outside, which is really funny. I've been finding myself putting on a little cozy sweater in the morning and long pants. And last year, I was in shorts and T-shirts in the morning. So it's really funny how our bodies adapt.
All right, last week, we talked about how to delegate and whom to delegate to. So you might want to listen to that episode first, before we start talking about our topic for today, which is clear communication. Now that's a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And honestly, I might do more than one episode on this. Because I've been finding, with my clients, one of the struggles is when delegating or having performance conversations, how to say something so that the other person gets the point and does what we want them to do. Right?
And basically, what we want to make sure of is how does the other person need you to communicate with them in order for you to be heard? Because often what happens is that we're going to communicate to others the way that we like to be communicated to. So, for example, if you're someone who, like me, is direct; I won the prize for courage and candor in my old job. So trust me, I'm usually no B.S., right? So if you're someone who, like me, is direct, and you'd like to hear it like it is, you probably are going to tell it like it is.
But if you're communicating with someone who's more diplomatic and maybe more sensitive, then they might actually react negatively to the way in which you're communicating. They might actually think that you're being, you know, too blunt. So we're going to talk a little bit about that today.
I'm going to give you, in my experience, some differences in terms of the way that people like to be communicated to. And you can definitely experiment with that and see if it resonates with you.
I've been actually experimenting with this in my personal life because now I'm living in Mexico, and so I'm learning Spanish. And it's interesting because sometimes I actually have some lost-in-translation moments, where I'm going to be using some words that, if they were taken out of context, could actually be sometimes even hurtful for some people, right?
So I'm really, really mindful of what I say. And I'm really mindful of watching the other person's nonverbal reaction. I'm noticing if they're reacting, like they're maybe taken aback by what I'm saying, I'm like, oh, maybe it's the right word. But the way in which I said the word might have been misinterpreted. Or, I put the accent in the wrong place, or maybe I used the wrong word, right?
So, for example, this isn't a major one, but you might say something like “desculpe” or “desculpa,” which sounds really similar, and there's only one letter difference between the two. But one is the formal version of saying “I'm sorry,” and one is the informal version of saying it, right? So it might be potentially insulting to someone if I'm saying it in an informal way with someone that I should be using it in a formal way, for example.
Okay, so you want to be really mindful when you're communicating, to not only be observing, not only being attentive to the words that you're using but also being attentive to the nonverbal. Because studies have shown that communication is 93% nonverbal and 7% verbal, so basically, the words that you are using are a lot less important than the tonality. The way in which you're using them, the tone that you're using, as well as maybe the body language in which you're conveying the words. So you're going to want to be really mindful of the other person's reaction.
Let's go through some different examples of how people like to be communicated to, okay? So, for example, let's say that you've got an individual that you're speaking to that tends to be maybe a little bit more blunt and direct in their communication. What you're going to want to do with them, if you're giving them feedback or you're delegating to them, you're going to want to say what you mean. And you're going to be direct, as well. You're going to want to give them honest, unfiltered feedback or very, very clear instructions.
I'm just going to give a performance conversation example. And you can kind of see how that's going to apply to different types of personalities and how we like to be communicated to. So we're going to take this example through the different personalities. The first one is, let's say, the individual came late in the last two team meetings. So you're going to want to meet with them and let them know that that's an issue.
You would start with someone that's maybe a little bit more blunt and direct; you might start the meeting by saying, “You came in late at the last two team meetings. And this is a problem because you miss critical information at the beginning of the meeting, and it interrupts the flow. So help me understand why this is happening.”
That would be a typical kind of introduction that you might say to someone who's more direct. And why is this a good introduction? Because you want to get straight to the point, okay? You don't want to use too many words; you want to be direct. You also, “to help me understand” portion of it, I would say to anyone, because what you want to do is you want to seek to understand before being understood, that's really important to do.
You also want to keep your introduction relatively short, regardless of the type of person that you're communicating to, just because they might be wondering, “What's going on? Why am I being met with?” If you're going on for too long. All right?
The second type of individual that I've seen in my practice, as a leader, is someone who's more practical and pensive, I would say. So this is someone that needs to think things through when you communicate with them. What you're going to want to do is not try to say everything in one conversation. You're going to want to keep the topic of the conversation to one issue, and you're going to want to give them time to think. Right?
So you might be asking them throughout the conversation, “What are your thoughts on that?” Not that, you know, you wouldn't want to ask other people, but, specifically, these individuals are going to want to process what you're telling them, and they may be in their head.
So you want to make sure that you're communicating constantly with them and that you are giving them time to think, but you're also giving them something to think about. Okay? You also, with these individuals, might have to schedule a part two to the discussion because they might actually need time to think about what the options are.
Because, of course, if you're meeting with them, it's because there's an issue, you want it to be addressed. And so you're going to want to brainstorm potential solutions with them and then have them apply the solution. Okay. And so they might tell you, “Hey, you know what? I'm going to need time to think about this. I'll get back to you.”
So, of course, you don't want them to just get back to you; you want to schedule part two, okay? Have it on the calendar. If you're leaving it open-ended, right, they may not actually get back to you, and the situation might not change.
Type of person number three is the curious and love to learn individual. So what you're going to want to do with them is ask them lots of questions. Be prepared for them to ask you lots of questions. And you're going to also want to give them options, okay, and brainstorm options with them.
So in our situation here, of the individual coming in late, you might have the same introduction. But what you're going to want to do is really spend a lot of time here. Let's say you're asking them, “Help me understand why this is happening.” And they're going to tell you, “Well, actually, it's because I'm having childcare issues,” let's say. What you might want to do with them is say, “Okay, let's brainstorm some of the solutions together. If that's something that you're open to.”
Now, they might already have a solution and be like, “Yeah, I know this is a problem. But next week, it's not going to be a problem, I've found the solution.” And in which case, you're, “Great.” But if they want to explore with you, you might want to start looking at what could be some options. You don't want to get into their personal lives, of course.
But what you might want to do is, while maybe they're figuring out their issues, you might want to look at some options where you could potentially, if that's the case, be flexible in their schedule.
The fourth type is the quiet and sensitive type. Now, what you're going to want to do with these individuals is choose your words carefully. Okay? So whereas the first type of individual, where you were more blunt and direct, it’s going to be a little bit different here, okay? So you might not want to say something like, “This is a problem because….” You're going to want to be a little bit more sensitive to the types of words that you're using. Okay?
So you might want to say something like, “You came in late at the last two team meetings. You've been missing critical information and interrupting the flow of the meeting, as you're coming late. Help me understand why this is happening.” You might not want to actually use the ‘this as a problem.’ You can use something like, “There's an impact on your team,” for example. You want to give them time to process emotionally.
All right, so versus our second type, which was more pensive, where you're giving them time to think, these types of individuals, you're going to give them time to process emotionally. So if, for example, you're noticing there in their nonverbals that they're reacting emotionally to the situation or to you giving them feedback, then you might just want to say, “I'm noticing that you're flustered. Would you like just a minute to process this emotion?”
You might also just want to say, “Do you want just to take a moment? We can come back in five minutes,” you know, whatever it is, but just giving them time and letting them know that it's okay that they're having an emotional reaction.
All right, the next type is the unpretentious individual. So what you're going to want to do is just keep it simple. And you're going to want to look at some practical tips. They're going to want to know; how can I implement this? What are some of the next steps? And so you really want to keep it simple; you’re not going to overcomplicate the thing.
You're just going to be, “Hey, here's the issue. What could be some of the consequences of this? What could you actually do to change the situation?” Now, it's a little bit different than the curious and love-to-learn person because you may not need to brainstorm with them a lot, and you might not need to talk a lot.
You might want to just keep it simple and tell them, “Okay, what are the next steps? What do you need to do next?” So it's really focusing, usually, on next steps.
Then you've got the individual who is very logical. So they're probably going to want to know a lot of details around the why; why is this important? Why is this an issue? So they may be questioning you. They may be saying, “Well, sure, I was late, you know, twice. But this other individual was also late twice; why are you meeting with me?”
And they might also say, “Well, this shouldn't be a problem. I finish later.” So you're probably going to have to be very logical with them and prepare. You don't want to get into a debate with these individuals. But you just really want to be clear on the impact and why you're talking to them.
The other type of individual is the diplomatic and personable one. So you're going to want to establish a connection with them throughout the conversation. Now, keeping the connection throughout the conversation is important with everyone that you're speaking to, of course, but these individuals, for them, it's really important.
So you're going to be really, really, really mindful, even more so with them, of the nonverbal cues. If you notice them disconnecting throughout the conversation, you want to reconnect with them. And you're going to want to express yourself with care.
You might want to start the discussion by saying something like, “It's been brought to my attention that you've been late twice.” Unless you've observed it yourself, unless you were in the meeting. These are individuals that you're going to want to be really careful in terms of the words that you use and be very diplomatic.
Other types of individuals are really passionate, okay? So you're going to really want to compel them with your message. And in a case like this, you might want to, for example, focus on the impact on the team and say, “You know what? Your team is really counting on you. And they've been noticing that you have been late for the meetings.”
“There's really an impact on the team morale here. Helped me understand what's going on. And what can we do to make sure that there's no impact on the team?” So, in this case, again, you want to be really passionate in order to compel them to want to change.
And the last type is the witty person. So with them, you can actually use humor and analogies, you know, in order to drive the point home. And that's kind of the point here with all of these types of individuals, is that you really want to kind of drive your point home. You want to speak to them in the language that they understand.
It's kind of like: Here, I'm in Mexico, right? I'm French speaking; that's my native tongue, my mother tongue. I also speak English, but I'm learning Spanish. But here, most of the people speak Spanish; that’s their first language. And some speak English, of course. Now, it's as if I was here, talking to a Mexican, whose first language is Spanish, and I was talking to them in French. They wouldn't understand me, right?
So what you want to make sure of as you're adapting to the different people that you're talking to is that you're speaking to them in their language, not in yours. Because your language is going to be very different from theirs. Okay? That's really kind of the whole point here.
You might not know if you don't know your team members that well. You might not know the best way or the best language to speak to them, and that's okay. If you don't, you might want to ask them. “How do you like to be communicated to? If I have something I need to delegate to you, what's the best way to do that? Do you like me to be clear and direct? Would you rather I take more time? Would you rather I give you options? Do you want me to focus on the why? How do you like me to communicate with you?”
You can just ask them. And then you can also test it out and experiment. And you're going to see, if you're communicating, for example, with someone who wants you to keep it simple, and you're overcomplicating it, which is what we often do as new leaders, then you're going to see them look really quizzical.
You're going to have question marks in their eyes; you will see that, okay? And so you might want to adjust and say, “Oh, is that too complicated? Sorry, I overcomplicated it. This is what I mean.”
So that's what I had for you today. Hopefully, that was helpful. I've been getting lots of positive feedback on the podcast. And if this is resonating with you as well, I would love for you to rate and review it and share it with women you know who are new to leadership. It helps to get the podcast out there to women who need it.
Thanks so much, everyone, and have a wonderful week.
Now that you've dreamt up your goals for the year, if you'd like some support to make them come true, or if you'd like some help to apply any of the skills that you're learning on the podcast, I have a special offer to help you kickstart your year and create some traction towards your goals.
Now, normally the only way to work with me is in my three-month coaching container, but until January 30th of this year, you can also have a one-time 90-minute deep dive with me. Now, at the end of the 90 minutes, you'll have uncovered what makes you unique as a leader, and you'll have a personalized roadmap tailored to your strengths, so that you can focus on the goals that you want to achieve.
Book your free consult on my website at annieframand.com/getstarted to learn more and see if we're a good fit.
Thanks for listening to The Confident Female Leader podcast. Ready to dismantle the patriarchy with me? Come say “Hi” at annieframand.com to learn more about how you can take this work deeper and apply what you're learning.
Welcome to The Confident Female Leader podcast. A space for ambitious women stepping into leadership, who are ready to take control of their circumstances and own their magic. If you're ready to start shedding your self-doubt, come into your new identity as a leader, and stop consistently undervaluing yourself so you can feel more confident in your role, this show’s for you.
I'm Annie Framand; Psychologist, Certified Feminist Coach and Master Trainer. And I'm on a mission to help women just like you stop overworking, overthinking, and overpleasing, so you can start creating success on your terms. Ready to create your dream life? Let's go.
Hola amigas, how are you? I'm doing amazing. These past couple of weeks, I've had friends visit in Puerto Vallarta, and I've been having a blast, not going to lie. We did a hike, we went whale watching, and we went to the beach. It was just so fun enjoying the winter here.
Actually, sidenote, I'm from Montreal, Canada, where right now it's about maybe -30 degrees Celsius, and there's lots of snow. It's just so funny to me because it's my second winter here in Mexico, and I'm now freezing when it's 20 degrees Celsius outside, which is really funny. I've been finding myself putting on a little cozy sweater in the morning and long pants. And last year, I was in shorts and T-shirts in the morning. So it's really funny how our bodies adapt.
All right, last week, we talked about how to delegate and whom to delegate to. So you might want to listen to that episode first, before we start talking about our topic for today, which is clear communication. Now that's a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And honestly, I might do more than one episode on this. Because I've been finding, with my clients, one of the struggles is when delegating or having performance conversations, how to say something so that the other person gets the point and does what we want them to do. Right?
And basically, what we want to make sure of is how does the other person need you to communicate with them in order for you to be heard? Because often what happens is that we're going to communicate to others the way that we like to be communicated to. So, for example, if you're someone who, like me, is direct; I won the prize for courage and candor in my old job. So trust me, I'm usually no B.S., right? So if you're someone who, like me, is direct, and you'd like to hear it like it is, you probably are going to tell it like it is.
But if you're communicating with someone who's more diplomatic and maybe more sensitive, then they might actually react negatively to the way in which you're communicating. They might actually think that you're being, you know, too blunt. So we're going to talk a little bit about that today.
I'm going to give you, in my experience, some differences in terms of the way that people like to be communicated to. And you can definitely experiment with that and see if it resonates with you.
I've been actually experimenting with this in my personal life because now I'm living in Mexico, and so I'm learning Spanish. And it's interesting because sometimes I actually have some lost-in-translation moments, where I'm going to be using some words that, if they were taken out of context, could actually be sometimes even hurtful for some people, right?
So I'm really, really mindful of what I say. And I'm really mindful of watching the other person's nonverbal reaction. I'm noticing if they're reacting, like they're maybe taken aback by what I'm saying, I'm like, oh, maybe it's the right word. But the way in which I said the word might have been misinterpreted. Or, I put the accent in the wrong place, or maybe I used the wrong word, right?
So, for example, this isn't a major one, but you might say something like “desculpe” or “desculpa,” which sounds really similar, and there's only one letter difference between the two. But one is the formal version of saying “I'm sorry,” and one is the informal version of saying it, right? So it might be potentially insulting to someone if I'm saying it in an informal way with someone that I should be using it in a formal way, for example.
Okay, so you want to be really mindful when you're communicating, to not only be observing, not only being attentive to the words that you're using but also being attentive to the nonverbal. Because studies have shown that communication is 93% nonverbal and 7% verbal, so basically, the words that you are using are a lot less important than the tonality. The way in which you're using them, the tone that you're using, as well as maybe the body language in which you're conveying the words. So you're going to want to be really mindful of the other person's reaction.
Let's go through some different examples of how people like to be communicated to, okay? So, for example, let's say that you've got an individual that you're speaking to that tends to be maybe a little bit more blunt and direct in their communication. What you're going to want to do with them, if you're giving them feedback or you're delegating to them, you're going to want to say what you mean. And you're going to be direct, as well. You're going to want to give them honest, unfiltered feedback or very, very clear instructions.
I'm just going to give a performance conversation example. And you can kind of see how that's going to apply to different types of personalities and how we like to be communicated to. So we're going to take this example through the different personalities. The first one is, let's say, the individual came late in the last two team meetings. So you're going to want to meet with them and let them know that that's an issue.
You would start with someone that's maybe a little bit more blunt and direct; you might start the meeting by saying, “You came in late at the last two team meetings. And this is a problem because you miss critical information at the beginning of the meeting, and it interrupts the flow. So help me understand why this is happening.”
That would be a typical kind of introduction that you might say to someone who's more direct. And why is this a good introduction? Because you want to get straight to the point, okay? You don't want to use too many words; you want to be direct. You also, “to help me understand” portion of it, I would say to anyone, because what you want to do is you want to seek to understand before being understood, that's really important to do.
You also want to keep your introduction relatively short, regardless of the type of person that you're communicating to, just because they might be wondering, “What's going on? Why am I being met with?” If you're going on for too long. All right?
The second type of individual that I've seen in my practice, as a leader, is someone who's more practical and pensive, I would say. So this is someone that needs to think things through when you communicate with them. What you're going to want to do is not try to say everything in one conversation. You're going to want to keep the topic of the conversation to one issue, and you're going to want to give them time to think. Right?
So you might be asking them throughout the conversation, “What are your thoughts on that?” Not that, you know, you wouldn't want to ask other people, but, specifically, these individuals are going to want to process what you're telling them, and they may be in their head.
So you want to make sure that you're communicating constantly with them and that you are giving them time to think, but you're also giving them something to think about. Okay? You also, with these individuals, might have to schedule a part two to the discussion because they might actually need time to think about what the options are.
Because, of course, if you're meeting with them, it's because there's an issue, you want it to be addressed. And so you're going to want to brainstorm potential solutions with them and then have them apply the solution. Okay. And so they might tell you, “Hey, you know what? I'm going to need time to think about this. I'll get back to you.”
So, of course, you don't want them to just get back to you; you want to schedule part two, okay? Have it on the calendar. If you're leaving it open-ended, right, they may not actually get back to you, and the situation might not change.
Type of person number three is the curious and love to learn individual. So what you're going to want to do with them is ask them lots of questions. Be prepared for them to ask you lots of questions. And you're going to also want to give them options, okay, and brainstorm options with them.
So in our situation here, of the individual coming in late, you might have the same introduction. But what you're going to want to do is really spend a lot of time here. Let's say you're asking them, “Help me understand why this is happening.” And they're going to tell you, “Well, actually, it's because I'm having childcare issues,” let's say. What you might want to do with them is say, “Okay, let's brainstorm some of the solutions together. If that's something that you're open to.”
Now, they might already have a solution and be like, “Yeah, I know this is a problem. But next week, it's not going to be a problem, I've found the solution.” And in which case, you're, “Great.” But if they want to explore with you, you might want to start looking at what could be some options. You don't want to get into their personal lives, of course.
But what you might want to do is, while maybe they're figuring out their issues, you might want to look at some options where you could potentially, if that's the case, be flexible in their schedule.
The fourth type is the quiet and sensitive type. Now, what you're going to want to do with these individuals is choose your words carefully. Okay? So whereas the first type of individual, where you were more blunt and direct, it’s going to be a little bit different here, okay? So you might not want to say something like, “This is a problem because….” You're going to want to be a little bit more sensitive to the types of words that you're using. Okay?
So you might want to say something like, “You came in late at the last two team meetings. You've been missing critical information and interrupting the flow of the meeting, as you're coming late. Help me understand why this is happening.” You might not want to actually use the ‘this as a problem.’ You can use something like, “There's an impact on your team,” for example. You want to give them time to process emotionally.
All right, so versus our second type, which was more pensive, where you're giving them time to think, these types of individuals, you're going to give them time to process emotionally. So if, for example, you're noticing there in their nonverbals that they're reacting emotionally to the situation or to you giving them feedback, then you might just want to say, “I'm noticing that you're flustered. Would you like just a minute to process this emotion?”
You might also just want to say, “Do you want just to take a moment? We can come back in five minutes,” you know, whatever it is, but just giving them time and letting them know that it's okay that they're having an emotional reaction.
All right, the next type is the unpretentious individual. So what you're going to want to do is just keep it simple. And you're going to want to look at some practical tips. They're going to want to know; how can I implement this? What are some of the next steps? And so you really want to keep it simple; you’re not going to overcomplicate the thing.
You're just going to be, “Hey, here's the issue. What could be some of the consequences of this? What could you actually do to change the situation?” Now, it's a little bit different than the curious and love-to-learn person because you may not need to brainstorm with them a lot, and you might not need to talk a lot.
You might want to just keep it simple and tell them, “Okay, what are the next steps? What do you need to do next?” So it's really focusing, usually, on next steps.
Then you've got the individual who is very logical. So they're probably going to want to know a lot of details around the why; why is this important? Why is this an issue? So they may be questioning you. They may be saying, “Well, sure, I was late, you know, twice. But this other individual was also late twice; why are you meeting with me?”
And they might also say, “Well, this shouldn't be a problem. I finish later.” So you're probably going to have to be very logical with them and prepare. You don't want to get into a debate with these individuals. But you just really want to be clear on the impact and why you're talking to them.
The other type of individual is the diplomatic and personable one. So you're going to want to establish a connection with them throughout the conversation. Now, keeping the connection throughout the conversation is important with everyone that you're speaking to, of course, but these individuals, for them, it's really important.
So you're going to be really, really, really mindful, even more so with them, of the nonverbal cues. If you notice them disconnecting throughout the conversation, you want to reconnect with them. And you're going to want to express yourself with care.
You might want to start the discussion by saying something like, “It's been brought to my attention that you've been late twice.” Unless you've observed it yourself, unless you were in the meeting. These are individuals that you're going to want to be really careful in terms of the words that you use and be very diplomatic.
Other types of individuals are really passionate, okay? So you're going to really want to compel them with your message. And in a case like this, you might want to, for example, focus on the impact on the team and say, “You know what? Your team is really counting on you. And they've been noticing that you have been late for the meetings.”
“There's really an impact on the team morale here. Helped me understand what's going on. And what can we do to make sure that there's no impact on the team?” So, in this case, again, you want to be really passionate in order to compel them to want to change.
And the last type is the witty person. So with them, you can actually use humor and analogies, you know, in order to drive the point home. And that's kind of the point here with all of these types of individuals, is that you really want to kind of drive your point home. You want to speak to them in the language that they understand.
It's kind of like: Here, I'm in Mexico, right? I'm French speaking; that's my native tongue, my mother tongue. I also speak English, but I'm learning Spanish. But here, most of the people speak Spanish; that’s their first language. And some speak English, of course. Now, it's as if I was here, talking to a Mexican, whose first language is Spanish, and I was talking to them in French. They wouldn't understand me, right?
So what you want to make sure of as you're adapting to the different people that you're talking to is that you're speaking to them in their language, not in yours. Because your language is going to be very different from theirs. Okay? That's really kind of the whole point here.
You might not know if you don't know your team members that well. You might not know the best way or the best language to speak to them, and that's okay. If you don't, you might want to ask them. “How do you like to be communicated to? If I have something I need to delegate to you, what's the best way to do that? Do you like me to be clear and direct? Would you rather I take more time? Would you rather I give you options? Do you want me to focus on the why? How do you like me to communicate with you?”
You can just ask them. And then you can also test it out and experiment. And you're going to see, if you're communicating, for example, with someone who wants you to keep it simple, and you're overcomplicating it, which is what we often do as new leaders, then you're going to see them look really quizzical.
You're going to have question marks in their eyes; you will see that, okay? And so you might want to adjust and say, “Oh, is that too complicated? Sorry, I overcomplicated it. This is what I mean.”
So that's what I had for you today. Hopefully, that was helpful. I've been getting lots of positive feedback on the podcast. And if this is resonating with you as well, I would love for you to rate and review it and share it with women you know who are new to leadership. It helps to get the podcast out there to women who need it.
Thanks so much, everyone, and have a wonderful week.
Now that you've dreamt up your goals for the year, if you'd like some support to make them come true, or if you'd like some help to apply any of the skills that you're learning on the podcast, I have a special offer to help you kickstart your year and create some traction towards your goals.
Now, normally the only way to work with me is in my three-month coaching container, but until January 30th of this year, you can also have a one-time 90-minute deep dive with me. Now, at the end of the 90 minutes, you'll have uncovered what makes you unique as a leader, and you'll have a personalized roadmap tailored to your strengths, so that you can focus on the goals that you want to achieve.
Book your free consult on my website at annieframand.com/getstarted to learn more and see if we're a good fit.
Thanks for listening to The Confident Female Leader podcast. Ready to dismantle the patriarchy with me? Come say “Hi” at annieframand.com to learn more about how you can take this work deeper and apply what you're learning.
Enjoy the Show?
Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or Google Podcasts.
