2. How to Stop Overworking
As I mentioned in episode one, leadership is an adventure. On this journey, women commonly face three dragons they need to overcome: overworking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Today, we’re taking a deeper look at the first dragon: overworking. We’ll assess where it comes from, and how to slay it.
If you find yourself thinking you’re not doing enough, that you need to take additional responsibility, and you’re experiencing pressure to do more in order to prove yourself, this episode is for you. I’m helping you with next steps if you are doing more than you want to be and if your work is impacting other areas of your life like health, sleep, or personal relationships.
Join me this week to discover how your overworking tendencies stem from how you were socialized as a woman and why this is exacerbated for women of marginalized identities. I’m showing you how to spot the ways you’re overworking, how to see the beliefs and thoughts that are keeping you continually hustling for your worth, and most importantly, what you can do to stop overworking.
To thank you for being a listener and supporter of The Confident Female Leader, I am sharing a free guided meditation with you! Download your meditation here.
What You’ll Learn From This Episode:
How our patriarchal society is structured in a way that means women have to overwork while men get rewards and privileges just for existing.
The specific societal beliefs that keep women overworking.
How to see the way these societal beliefs are stopping you from putting yourself first.
Why overworking and shame always go hand-in-hand.
Where overworking and a lack of confidence in your value could mean you’re leaving money on the table.
The surprising day-to-day things that are reducing your mental capacity.
How to start deciding where you want to go and how to get there, slaying the dragon of overworking in the process.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
To thank you for being a listener and supporter of The Confident Female Leader, I am sharing a free guided meditation with you! Download your meditation here.
Full Episode Transcript:
Leadership is an adventure. On this adventure women commonly face three struggles or dragons, overworking, perfectionism, and people pleasing. Today, we take a deeper look into dragon number one, overworking; where it comes from and how to slay it.
Welcome to The Confident Female Leader podcast. A space for ambitious women stepping into leadership, who are ready to take control of their circumstances and own their magic. If you're ready to start shedding your self-doubt, come into your new identity as a leader, and stop consistently undervaluing yourself so you can feel more confident in your role, this show’s for you. I'm Annie Framand; Psychologist, Certified Feminist Coach and Master Trainer. And I'm on a mission to help women just like you stop overworking, overthinking, and overpleasing, so you can start creating success on your terms. Ready to create your dream life? Let's go.
Hola, amigas. How you doing today? We just kicked off the hiking season here, in Puerto Vallarta. And I just came back from a hike with my love, on my favorite trail here by the ocean. So fun. Alright let's dive right into our episode. Today, we're going to explore our first dragon, over working.
Now, as a reminder, if you're facing this dragon, you have thoughts like, “I'm not doing enough. I have to do it all.” You feel the pressure to do more, to prove yourself, and you base your self-worth on what you deliver. Basically, you tend to overdo.
Overworking is doing more than you want to. It's when your work impacts the other areas of your life, whether it be health, sleep, or personal relationships. So, you're having trouble falling asleep. You don't have time to exercise. Or, you miss family dinners, for example.
What the three dragons of overworking, perfectionism, and people pleasing, have in common is that they stem from the way that we're socialized as women. Now, in a patriarchal society, like the one in which we live, society is structured in such a way that men get rewards, privileges, and benefits just for being men. And, those come at the expense of women.
Now, this is true for all women. And it's even more true for women of marginalized identities, whether it's race, religion, size, culture, age, or disability, for example. So basically, patriarchy is like Uncle Jerry at the Christmas party telling you how you should run your life.
And because the voice of reason, or at least in Canada, the US and Europe, is still mainly older, male, and white. Even though we don't pay too much attention, Uncle Jerry's voice still remains at the back of our head when we make our life decisions after the Christmas party.
Now, of course, not all men support structures that are geared towards oppressing women. But they will still benefit from that, like getting higher pay for the same job, for example. We don't walk around as women thinking, “Oh, yeah, we're less deserving than men.” But it does come from this deep socialization. It's kind of like an iceberg, right? You see the tip of the iceberg. And underneath the water, there's a lot more iceberg than there is over the water.
So, what's above the surface are our behaviors and thoughts. What is under the water are those ingrained beliefs, that we were taught from a very young age, that come from the patriarchy. Now, as women, we're taught certain beliefs in our families and in school that men were not taught. And because we live in a world that's mainly made by men and for men, right? There aren't that many world leaders or CEO’s that are women, yet.
Okay, so for dragon number one, overworking, it comes from the social belief, that women are taught from a young age, that their value is determined by what they accomplish. We're also socialized to believe that our work does not end at the office. Which leads us to take on a disproportionate amount of household tasks. Now, I'm sure you can relate with this.
You constantly feel like you can't get enough done, to finally earn the right to truly relax, am I right? So, you do things like working on a Sunday evening to get a head start on Monday. Being late to a dinner with friends so you can finish up that project, again. Setting unrealistic deadlines.
Overfilling your calendar with too many tasks, and not baking in breaks, rest, or pleasure. You're filling up your time with busy work that isn't valuable. You're procrastinating, like I did for a very, very long time. You're not taking vacations, or you're spending your vacations working or feeling guilty about not working.
Now, that's because you've been taught to hustle for your worth. Just an example here: One of my clients got offered a promotion recently, she had not even applied for it. So, she was like, “Whoa. What? Wait a minute. Give me a couple of days and I'm gonna think about it.” And then, she went back home. She freaked out in private, and she wondered all weekend if she had what it takes.
Meanwhile, a dude who was offered the same promotion would have been like, “Finally, they recognized my brilliance,” onwards and upwards. Right. So, it's this quality that comes from being a man. They're socialized to think, “I'm smart. I'm able. I'm powerful, and I have authority.” We've taught them to see their inherent worth, right?
It's a different story for women. One of my friends wanted to apply for promotion, and she decided not to, because out of the 10 criteria in the job posting, she didn't fit two of them. Which, by the way, were the ones at the end of the bullet list, you know, the ones that aren't as important. Now, this is very typical behavior for women.
When we look at the HP study, which some of you might know, men tend to wait until they fit 60% of the criteria before they raise their hand for promotion. And women? One hundred percent. What?! Okay, so men are like, “I've got six bullet points, I'm good. I'm going to learn the rest.” They tend to be a lot bolder than women, because they'll think that they're naturally more deserving. That's just what they were taught.
And as women, not only do we overwork, but we're also underpaid. We don't feel as confident in our abilities, so we tend to overwork. Because we think that we need to do more to deserve the role that we have already. And when we overwork, we layer some shame on top of it. We think, “It shouldn't have taken me so long. If I was better, it would have taken me less time.”
So, we also underestimate our actual work. Like, “This is just a small thing I'm doing, it's not worth mentioning,” am I right? As a consultant, I remember these two things going hand-in-hand for a really long time in my career, until I gained enough confidence. I would tell myself, “Meh, that just took me 15 minutes, I'm not going to bill that.” And one of my clients, who was a lawyer, also consistently left money on the table with that rationale.
Now, I want you to ask yourself the question, where are you leaving money on the table? Of course, it's easier to calculate directly if you're billing as a consultant, as a lawyer, or doctor, for example. But as women, when we're promoted into a leadership position, we're more likely to accept whatever salary or raises offered to us. Women do not negotiate as much as men. And because we're missing those two bullet points at the bottom of the list, we think we better hustle to make up for them. And only then could we consider asking for more money.
That's one of the reasons why a woman will accept an interim position, where she ends up with the same workload as if she was in a permanent leadership position, but without the compensation that goes along with it. She's told that she needs to prove herself. And, she believes it.
A woman I know, was amazing at what she did, yet she was earning half of what men in an equal position were paid. That's right, half. She knew this. But she didn't want to ask for a raise. She liked her job, and, she also thought her work should speak for itself. So, guess what? She worked even harder, and she was not offered more money, because work can't speak.
If you think this is an isolated story, think again. I've seen many variations on this theme many times over, and the data proves it, sadly. Women in general, earn 82 cents to the dollar compared to men. And when you break down the wage gap even further by race; for every dollar a man earns on average, Asian women are earning 90 cents. White women 79 cents, Black women 62 cents, Native Americans 57 cents, Latinas 54 cents.
Now this is in the U.S., but I can imagine in Canada, Europe, would be relatively similar. The next time you find yourself thinking that you were lucky to get the promotion, that you don't want to rock the boat by asking for more money, that you really like your boss or the company, and that you can't afford to make waves, I want you to consider that you can't afford not to.
Men don't hesitate. They're like, “Yep, I'm ready for more money. Just show me the money,” so they get paid more on average. As an experiment, check out the industry comparables. Ask around. Start looking at job postings. Talk to recruiters, and look at the numbers. See what someone, in a similar position, is paid and start getting ready for your next salary negotiation.
Alright, so I recently came back from a trip to Turkey. I traveled from Mexico to Montreal, Canada, where I was meeting my friends. And then, we went off to London and Turkey. And because I was taking so many planes, I wanted to make sure my suitcase followed, so I packed a carry on. Which is relatively usual for me. But this was a two-week trip, so I wanted to make sure that I had clothes for every climate I was going to be in, and multiples really.
I overpacked a suitcase. And, guess what? There actually wasn't any room left for any souvenirs to bring back. Now, I want you to take a moment to look at your calendar. When you look at your calendar, just looking at it, do you feel pressure? Do you feel dread? Or, do you feel calm? Is it overpacked, like my suitcase? Or, do you have room for the oh-shit moments, that are inevitably going to show up in your week.
Like, your employee who has to take a day off to take care of their sick kids. Or, yet another project delay that you have to deal with. Or, your boss needing an urgent response to her email, her text, her Teams or Slack message? Remember, you're at the wheel of your car. It's your adventure; you get to decide where you go, and how you get there.
I know it doesn't always feel that way, but you truly do get to decide how you spend your days. How much do you want to work in a day or in a week? And if you're working the number of hours you want to now, amazing. If not, or if you do but you find yourself scrambling to get it all done in time, feeling exhausted at the end of the day, I got you.
We're going to take a look at a few experiments that you can play with this week, to slay dragon number one. Now, these are some of the things that I've worked with my clients to help them feel a sense of control over their work week. One of my clients was consistently working 50-hour weeks, and at the end of our time together, she had cut it down to 40 hours. She was finishing work in time to have dinner with her family, and she didn't work evenings or weekends.
Now, the number of hours themselves are subjective, right? It's how you feel about them. What's too much for one person is going to be just enough for the other. Earlier in my career, I coached a woman who worked 35 hours a week, and she was completely overwhelmed. And then another, who was happy with working over 40 hours a week.
Alright, so if you do want to pare it down and find some room in your suitcase, I want you to take a moment to review your goals for the year and for the month. What are you actually paid to accomplish and what is noise?
So, if your team's responsible for end-of-month and end-of-year reporting, for example, and you're asked by a colleague to pick your brain at those times of year, answering questions from your employees on the reports makes it in your suitcase, and the colleague’s questions do not. Okay? Always coming back to your goals, your overarching goals, will help you choose what to do and what not to do.
You're going to want to bake in at least 10% of your time for those oh-shit moments. Alright? So, that's about 45 minutes to an hour a day, for a 40-hour work week. Now, if you're ripping your hair out thinking you have no idea where you're gonna find the time, you're likely finishing work too late and stressed out mostly every day. Scrambling to get it all done and struggling to find the time to deal with emergencies.
Okay, I suggest that you have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Now, be honest, you don't have to tell anyone. Ask yourself; which tasks are you still holding on to because you know how to do them? And which ones are really yours to do in your current role? What can you let go of? I get it, it's not easy. This is a sticking point for most of my clients who get promoted from within their team, because they're still doing some tasks from their previous job.
But really, just be honest with yourself here. If you could delegate anything that's on your plate right now, what would you delegate? If there's anything that is not yours to do, what is that? Just start by being honest, that will be helpful for you to start paring down things on your calendar.
Next up, ask yourself, which meetings do you really need to be in? Which ones can you cancel? And, which ones can you delegate? Are you still in meetings from your previous role, on top of the ones that were added from your new leadership role? Like, meetings with your colleagues, one-on-ones with your staff, or coaching calls, right?
If you're not sure which ones you need to be in, I want you to take a moment to review them with your boss and agree on the best use of your time. Often, we think we need to do it all, and all we do is we're piling on additional meetings, additional responsibilities, to the ones we were already doing in our previous role. Right?
So, leadership really is that transition, and it's a great time for you to start figuring out what needs to go. What do you need to let go of? And, what do you need to start doing?
Now, another tip that most of my clients have implemented are the 25-minute and 50-minute meetings, instead of 30 and 60 minutes. You'll want to do this, especially if you're finding yourself rushing from one meeting to the next. So, with those additional 5 or 10 minutes, you can take a bio break, you can stretch, get some water, and that's going to leave you rested instead of depleted for the next meeting.
And speaking of which, actually, it's not about time; it's about energy. It's going to be a lot easier for you to accomplish focused work when you are the most energized. So, for example, I tracked my energy peaks and lows, and found that my energy is really best first thing in the morning.
So, I like to kick start my day with some yoga and meditation. And that allows my mind and body to be ready to produce my best content. I write it before I take any emails or take care of any other tasks, so that my mind is distraction free. And I want you to think about, what about you? When are you the most energized?
For some of my clients it's early morning. Others, it's going to be mid-afternoon or evening. So, what is your best time? When do you do your most productive work? And, how can you arrange your schedule to make sure that it fits within that?
These are some of the ideas that I had for you. I really want you to start experimenting with this. Ask yourself those questions, and then see what you can change. Okay? You don't have to do it all. That's really something I want you to keep in mind.
When we looked at a study that was done at the University of London, they found that constant emailing and text messaging reduces our mental capacity by an average of 10 IQ points; five for women and 15 for men. So, that's the same as missing a night's sleep.
And being always on, increases what is called our “allostatic load.” That creates an artificial sense of constant crisis in our bodies. So, that is when our fight-or-flight mechanism is always firing, which is exhausting for our minds and bodies.
Now, you can learn to juggle lots of balls at work, the same way a clown is going to learn to juggle lots of balls. You can practice specific activities over and over until they become embedded, which means that the activities are not being managed by your prefrontal cortex, or your brain’s CEO. Once an activity is embedded, you can start acting other activities at the same time.
For example, it's like learning to drive, okay? You embed holding the wheel, , you start with that. And then, you embed using the accelerator and the brake. And then, when that becomes automatic, then you can learn more subtle skills like parking. Okay?
There's something called the basal ganglia, which is central to how the brain stores routine functions. And the basal ganglia are highly efficient at executing patterns. So, what you want to be doing is using this resource every way that you can. Once you repeat a pattern often enough, the basal ganglia can drive the process, which frees up your prefrontal cortex for new tasks.
What that means is you want to develop as many routines as you can and just repeat them over and over again. For example, how you open up a new document, right? It can be even that detailed; how you delete your emails, how you schedule your time. So, the more you can automate these things, the easier it becomes for your brain to just do it repeatedly and go on autopilot. I want you to think about what are the things that you can start automating in your work life and personal life, as well.
And last thing is remember that you're learning a new role. Okay? Anytime we learn something new, it takes us a bit longer to accomplish the task than when we have more experience. So, cut yourself some slack and leave yourself some wiggle room for your learning curve.
Alright, that's it for today. On the next episode, we're going to be taking a deep dive into dragon number two; people pleasing. Have a great week, everyone.
To celebrate the launch of the show, I'm going to be giving away a free five-minute meditation to everyone who subscribes, rates, and reviews the show, before December 31, 2022, to thank you for your feedback. This meditation will help you chill out, in real time, when your brain goes in overdrive.
I want your honest feedback on the podcast, so I can create an awesome show that resonates with you and provides tons of value. Visit annieframand.com/podcastlaunch to learn more about the giveaway and how to enter. And if you found this episode useful, I'd love for you to spread the word and share it with a woman you know who's also a new leader.
Thanks for listening to The Confident Female Leader podcast. Ready to dismantle the patriarchy with me? Come say hi at annieframand.com to learn more about how you can take this work deeper and apply what you're learning.
Welcome to The Confident Female Leader podcast. A space for ambitious women stepping into leadership, who are ready to take control of their circumstances and own their magic. If you're ready to start shedding your self-doubt, come into your new identity as a leader, and stop consistently undervaluing yourself so you can feel more confident in your role, this show’s for you. I'm Annie Framand; Psychologist, Certified Feminist Coach and Master Trainer. And I'm on a mission to help women just like you stop overworking, overthinking, and overpleasing, so you can start creating success on your terms. Ready to create your dream life? Let's go.
Hola, amigas. How you doing today? We just kicked off the hiking season here, in Puerto Vallarta. And I just came back from a hike with my love, on my favorite trail here by the ocean. So fun. Alright let's dive right into our episode. Today, we're going to explore our first dragon, over working.
Now, as a reminder, if you're facing this dragon, you have thoughts like, “I'm not doing enough. I have to do it all.” You feel the pressure to do more, to prove yourself, and you base your self-worth on what you deliver. Basically, you tend to overdo.
Overworking is doing more than you want to. It's when your work impacts the other areas of your life, whether it be health, sleep, or personal relationships. So, you're having trouble falling asleep. You don't have time to exercise. Or, you miss family dinners, for example.
What the three dragons of overworking, perfectionism, and people pleasing, have in common is that they stem from the way that we're socialized as women. Now, in a patriarchal society, like the one in which we live, society is structured in such a way that men get rewards, privileges, and benefits just for being men. And, those come at the expense of women.
Now, this is true for all women. And it's even more true for women of marginalized identities, whether it's race, religion, size, culture, age, or disability, for example. So basically, patriarchy is like Uncle Jerry at the Christmas party telling you how you should run your life.
And because the voice of reason, or at least in Canada, the US and Europe, is still mainly older, male, and white. Even though we don't pay too much attention, Uncle Jerry's voice still remains at the back of our head when we make our life decisions after the Christmas party.
Now, of course, not all men support structures that are geared towards oppressing women. But they will still benefit from that, like getting higher pay for the same job, for example. We don't walk around as women thinking, “Oh, yeah, we're less deserving than men.” But it does come from this deep socialization. It's kind of like an iceberg, right? You see the tip of the iceberg. And underneath the water, there's a lot more iceberg than there is over the water.
So, what's above the surface are our behaviors and thoughts. What is under the water are those ingrained beliefs, that we were taught from a very young age, that come from the patriarchy. Now, as women, we're taught certain beliefs in our families and in school that men were not taught. And because we live in a world that's mainly made by men and for men, right? There aren't that many world leaders or CEO’s that are women, yet.
Okay, so for dragon number one, overworking, it comes from the social belief, that women are taught from a young age, that their value is determined by what they accomplish. We're also socialized to believe that our work does not end at the office. Which leads us to take on a disproportionate amount of household tasks. Now, I'm sure you can relate with this.
You constantly feel like you can't get enough done, to finally earn the right to truly relax, am I right? So, you do things like working on a Sunday evening to get a head start on Monday. Being late to a dinner with friends so you can finish up that project, again. Setting unrealistic deadlines.
Overfilling your calendar with too many tasks, and not baking in breaks, rest, or pleasure. You're filling up your time with busy work that isn't valuable. You're procrastinating, like I did for a very, very long time. You're not taking vacations, or you're spending your vacations working or feeling guilty about not working.
Now, that's because you've been taught to hustle for your worth. Just an example here: One of my clients got offered a promotion recently, she had not even applied for it. So, she was like, “Whoa. What? Wait a minute. Give me a couple of days and I'm gonna think about it.” And then, she went back home. She freaked out in private, and she wondered all weekend if she had what it takes.
Meanwhile, a dude who was offered the same promotion would have been like, “Finally, they recognized my brilliance,” onwards and upwards. Right. So, it's this quality that comes from being a man. They're socialized to think, “I'm smart. I'm able. I'm powerful, and I have authority.” We've taught them to see their inherent worth, right?
It's a different story for women. One of my friends wanted to apply for promotion, and she decided not to, because out of the 10 criteria in the job posting, she didn't fit two of them. Which, by the way, were the ones at the end of the bullet list, you know, the ones that aren't as important. Now, this is very typical behavior for women.
When we look at the HP study, which some of you might know, men tend to wait until they fit 60% of the criteria before they raise their hand for promotion. And women? One hundred percent. What?! Okay, so men are like, “I've got six bullet points, I'm good. I'm going to learn the rest.” They tend to be a lot bolder than women, because they'll think that they're naturally more deserving. That's just what they were taught.
And as women, not only do we overwork, but we're also underpaid. We don't feel as confident in our abilities, so we tend to overwork. Because we think that we need to do more to deserve the role that we have already. And when we overwork, we layer some shame on top of it. We think, “It shouldn't have taken me so long. If I was better, it would have taken me less time.”
So, we also underestimate our actual work. Like, “This is just a small thing I'm doing, it's not worth mentioning,” am I right? As a consultant, I remember these two things going hand-in-hand for a really long time in my career, until I gained enough confidence. I would tell myself, “Meh, that just took me 15 minutes, I'm not going to bill that.” And one of my clients, who was a lawyer, also consistently left money on the table with that rationale.
Now, I want you to ask yourself the question, where are you leaving money on the table? Of course, it's easier to calculate directly if you're billing as a consultant, as a lawyer, or doctor, for example. But as women, when we're promoted into a leadership position, we're more likely to accept whatever salary or raises offered to us. Women do not negotiate as much as men. And because we're missing those two bullet points at the bottom of the list, we think we better hustle to make up for them. And only then could we consider asking for more money.
That's one of the reasons why a woman will accept an interim position, where she ends up with the same workload as if she was in a permanent leadership position, but without the compensation that goes along with it. She's told that she needs to prove herself. And, she believes it.
A woman I know, was amazing at what she did, yet she was earning half of what men in an equal position were paid. That's right, half. She knew this. But she didn't want to ask for a raise. She liked her job, and, she also thought her work should speak for itself. So, guess what? She worked even harder, and she was not offered more money, because work can't speak.
If you think this is an isolated story, think again. I've seen many variations on this theme many times over, and the data proves it, sadly. Women in general, earn 82 cents to the dollar compared to men. And when you break down the wage gap even further by race; for every dollar a man earns on average, Asian women are earning 90 cents. White women 79 cents, Black women 62 cents, Native Americans 57 cents, Latinas 54 cents.
Now this is in the U.S., but I can imagine in Canada, Europe, would be relatively similar. The next time you find yourself thinking that you were lucky to get the promotion, that you don't want to rock the boat by asking for more money, that you really like your boss or the company, and that you can't afford to make waves, I want you to consider that you can't afford not to.
Men don't hesitate. They're like, “Yep, I'm ready for more money. Just show me the money,” so they get paid more on average. As an experiment, check out the industry comparables. Ask around. Start looking at job postings. Talk to recruiters, and look at the numbers. See what someone, in a similar position, is paid and start getting ready for your next salary negotiation.
Alright, so I recently came back from a trip to Turkey. I traveled from Mexico to Montreal, Canada, where I was meeting my friends. And then, we went off to London and Turkey. And because I was taking so many planes, I wanted to make sure my suitcase followed, so I packed a carry on. Which is relatively usual for me. But this was a two-week trip, so I wanted to make sure that I had clothes for every climate I was going to be in, and multiples really.
I overpacked a suitcase. And, guess what? There actually wasn't any room left for any souvenirs to bring back. Now, I want you to take a moment to look at your calendar. When you look at your calendar, just looking at it, do you feel pressure? Do you feel dread? Or, do you feel calm? Is it overpacked, like my suitcase? Or, do you have room for the oh-shit moments, that are inevitably going to show up in your week.
Like, your employee who has to take a day off to take care of their sick kids. Or, yet another project delay that you have to deal with. Or, your boss needing an urgent response to her email, her text, her Teams or Slack message? Remember, you're at the wheel of your car. It's your adventure; you get to decide where you go, and how you get there.
I know it doesn't always feel that way, but you truly do get to decide how you spend your days. How much do you want to work in a day or in a week? And if you're working the number of hours you want to now, amazing. If not, or if you do but you find yourself scrambling to get it all done in time, feeling exhausted at the end of the day, I got you.
We're going to take a look at a few experiments that you can play with this week, to slay dragon number one. Now, these are some of the things that I've worked with my clients to help them feel a sense of control over their work week. One of my clients was consistently working 50-hour weeks, and at the end of our time together, she had cut it down to 40 hours. She was finishing work in time to have dinner with her family, and she didn't work evenings or weekends.
Now, the number of hours themselves are subjective, right? It's how you feel about them. What's too much for one person is going to be just enough for the other. Earlier in my career, I coached a woman who worked 35 hours a week, and she was completely overwhelmed. And then another, who was happy with working over 40 hours a week.
Alright, so if you do want to pare it down and find some room in your suitcase, I want you to take a moment to review your goals for the year and for the month. What are you actually paid to accomplish and what is noise?
So, if your team's responsible for end-of-month and end-of-year reporting, for example, and you're asked by a colleague to pick your brain at those times of year, answering questions from your employees on the reports makes it in your suitcase, and the colleague’s questions do not. Okay? Always coming back to your goals, your overarching goals, will help you choose what to do and what not to do.
You're going to want to bake in at least 10% of your time for those oh-shit moments. Alright? So, that's about 45 minutes to an hour a day, for a 40-hour work week. Now, if you're ripping your hair out thinking you have no idea where you're gonna find the time, you're likely finishing work too late and stressed out mostly every day. Scrambling to get it all done and struggling to find the time to deal with emergencies.
Okay, I suggest that you have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Now, be honest, you don't have to tell anyone. Ask yourself; which tasks are you still holding on to because you know how to do them? And which ones are really yours to do in your current role? What can you let go of? I get it, it's not easy. This is a sticking point for most of my clients who get promoted from within their team, because they're still doing some tasks from their previous job.
But really, just be honest with yourself here. If you could delegate anything that's on your plate right now, what would you delegate? If there's anything that is not yours to do, what is that? Just start by being honest, that will be helpful for you to start paring down things on your calendar.
Next up, ask yourself, which meetings do you really need to be in? Which ones can you cancel? And, which ones can you delegate? Are you still in meetings from your previous role, on top of the ones that were added from your new leadership role? Like, meetings with your colleagues, one-on-ones with your staff, or coaching calls, right?
If you're not sure which ones you need to be in, I want you to take a moment to review them with your boss and agree on the best use of your time. Often, we think we need to do it all, and all we do is we're piling on additional meetings, additional responsibilities, to the ones we were already doing in our previous role. Right?
So, leadership really is that transition, and it's a great time for you to start figuring out what needs to go. What do you need to let go of? And, what do you need to start doing?
Now, another tip that most of my clients have implemented are the 25-minute and 50-minute meetings, instead of 30 and 60 minutes. You'll want to do this, especially if you're finding yourself rushing from one meeting to the next. So, with those additional 5 or 10 minutes, you can take a bio break, you can stretch, get some water, and that's going to leave you rested instead of depleted for the next meeting.
And speaking of which, actually, it's not about time; it's about energy. It's going to be a lot easier for you to accomplish focused work when you are the most energized. So, for example, I tracked my energy peaks and lows, and found that my energy is really best first thing in the morning.
So, I like to kick start my day with some yoga and meditation. And that allows my mind and body to be ready to produce my best content. I write it before I take any emails or take care of any other tasks, so that my mind is distraction free. And I want you to think about, what about you? When are you the most energized?
For some of my clients it's early morning. Others, it's going to be mid-afternoon or evening. So, what is your best time? When do you do your most productive work? And, how can you arrange your schedule to make sure that it fits within that?
These are some of the ideas that I had for you. I really want you to start experimenting with this. Ask yourself those questions, and then see what you can change. Okay? You don't have to do it all. That's really something I want you to keep in mind.
When we looked at a study that was done at the University of London, they found that constant emailing and text messaging reduces our mental capacity by an average of 10 IQ points; five for women and 15 for men. So, that's the same as missing a night's sleep.
And being always on, increases what is called our “allostatic load.” That creates an artificial sense of constant crisis in our bodies. So, that is when our fight-or-flight mechanism is always firing, which is exhausting for our minds and bodies.
Now, you can learn to juggle lots of balls at work, the same way a clown is going to learn to juggle lots of balls. You can practice specific activities over and over until they become embedded, which means that the activities are not being managed by your prefrontal cortex, or your brain’s CEO. Once an activity is embedded, you can start acting other activities at the same time.
For example, it's like learning to drive, okay? You embed holding the wheel, , you start with that. And then, you embed using the accelerator and the brake. And then, when that becomes automatic, then you can learn more subtle skills like parking. Okay?
There's something called the basal ganglia, which is central to how the brain stores routine functions. And the basal ganglia are highly efficient at executing patterns. So, what you want to be doing is using this resource every way that you can. Once you repeat a pattern often enough, the basal ganglia can drive the process, which frees up your prefrontal cortex for new tasks.
What that means is you want to develop as many routines as you can and just repeat them over and over again. For example, how you open up a new document, right? It can be even that detailed; how you delete your emails, how you schedule your time. So, the more you can automate these things, the easier it becomes for your brain to just do it repeatedly and go on autopilot. I want you to think about what are the things that you can start automating in your work life and personal life, as well.
And last thing is remember that you're learning a new role. Okay? Anytime we learn something new, it takes us a bit longer to accomplish the task than when we have more experience. So, cut yourself some slack and leave yourself some wiggle room for your learning curve.
Alright, that's it for today. On the next episode, we're going to be taking a deep dive into dragon number two; people pleasing. Have a great week, everyone.
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